Tomorrow’s Japan Times headlines today

I have haxxored into the Japan Times’ system (why else do you think it is down right now?) and obtained the secrets on how they generate stories:

 

Code based on the Daily Mail-o-matic.

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134 Comments.

  1. @Simon:

    What’s sweet is how hard he tries, despite the serious handicap of not understanding concepts like “illegal” and “crime”, the legislative situation in Japan, how judicial systems work, or indeed the entire purpose of a system of justice. Or that Eido is not a law enforcement officer.

    It’s like watching someone trying open a Yale lock with a jelly trifle.

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  2. This is iLikedolphins reporting from America.

    I got sick of all the cotton candy bullshit being spun by illegal blog trolls in the mother ship and came here to Debito’s glorious Homeland of Fairness to find out what’s really real for myself.

    It’s early days right now but I can tell you I have been jaywalking the shit out of this bitch in front of my hotel and I haven’t been prosecuted once or anything. I’m gonna try drinking beer openly in the street while leaning on a lamppost tomorrow, will let you know.

    Have A Nice Day.

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  3. @JTW: Ever crossed a street against the red, numbnuts? Ever driven 61 in a 60 zone? Do you avoid the NHK man? Congratulations, you’re a criminal and should turn yourself in at the nearest kouban. :roll:

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  4. @JTW:

    I sometimes wish writing the same drivel over and over while missing the point was illegal. My finger hasn’t hurt so much from rapidly hitting PgDn repeatedly to skip a comment since CJ stopped emulating Ted Kaczynski’s writing.

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  5. Dedicated Whale Researcher

    Eido summed it up best.

    Eido: People are inherently good.
    DWR adds: They make mistakes, and with empathy can be made to quickly see the error of their ways, how their actions weren’t just unlawful but unethical.
    If they keep the sign up after being carefully warned, or snap back with some obvious racist reasons, then Next Steps Will Be Taken. …and yet, to a man they all seem to change their signs.

    JTW, Debito posters: Peopl… er, Japanese are inherently sneaky and evil. They knew full well that by posting the original remarks they were aiming to ensure that no white, black, or different-yellow face would get a chance to use their rental-shack-in-the-woods. Rakuten perpetuated the evil crimes willingly, as they are always fully aware of every single corner of their website.
    Empathy has no place in these discussions. Consideration of the people behind the signs warrants no examination, because again we believe that these people are inherently sneaky and evil. They should wear a scarlet letter for all time for an unreflective cultural mistake they made, despite correcting it and feeling bad about it; and made an example of in “Judge Dredd Iso-Cubes” parody fashion because they made me feel bad.

    Yeah, I know which side I’m on.

    JTW and Debito’s racism against Japan is laid bare at it’s core, when it’s time to answer the question “Are the Japanese basically inherently good like the rest of us? Or do you consider them different from us, inherently sneaky and/or evil? (or “Genetically pre-disposed to xenophobia” as one unmoderated commentator issued, to the nods of heads around him).

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  6. Dedicated Whale Researcher

    Also, I used to call little people “midgets”. Also called transexuals “trannies”, thinking it was shorthand. Didn’t realize that each group almost unilaterally hates that word, as each word was historically used against them to shame or humiliate those groups.

    I didn’t know. Friends pointed it out. I corrected myself. In one case, I wrote a blog post where I went back and edited it, changed the word “tranny” to “transexual”.

    According to Eido, I didn’t realize that my speech was hurtful. Once I was informed of the ethical and legal consequences, I went “Oh shit I didn’t realize!”, and fixed my post… well, all is well. Maybe later someone will even check up on me (read Eido, others actually visiting those restaurants and signs) to see if I still casually spit such nonsense, or if I actually learned my lesson.

    According to JTW, I am a perpetuator of hate speech, and should have been persecuted under the full extent of the law. I changed the wording of my post, even issued a heartfelt apology to the person who brought it to my attention (but didn’t post it, because why should I?); I vowed to use the correct terms from that point on. And heck, even went on to correct others who use them.
    But it’s too late for me. I should have my blog posts rolled back to the historic point in time where I made little people and transexuals feel bad, so that they know that because of that one mistake I should be on trial/”on watch” for the rest of my life. I also willingly perpetuated a crime that I was fully aware of (I wasn’t, I thought I was using shorthand), and even if I wasn’t I should have known better.
    An example must be made. Mandatory 4 months in the Iso-Cubes, Perp.

    That level of stubborn head-sick honestly doesn’t even need to be challenged or addressed. Just a cringe and move on, just like when Stormfront members crawl on a comment blog to share their thoughts.

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  7. Zaitokukai are shouting ‘Haro’ at London shop ads.

    http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-18588612

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  8. You might have noticed two more of JTW’s posts disappearing – first, they reiterate at far too much length the original post, and second, Eido has a lawyer and is not afraid to use him, so I suspect that he might soon lose patience with being called a criminal and a racist, therefore for JTW’s own protection I have removed them.

    And third and most importantly, I’m pretty sure no-one wants to read even just one of JTW’s epic posts, let alone three of them. :headdesk:

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  9. Ken: ^^^^^^^^^ There’s another one for the recycling bin.

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  10. Ken on another phone

    @Simon: Deleted. At least it wasn’t another Dog…

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  11. @Ken Y-N:

    Surely if JTW is true to his word, he will now volunteer himself for arrest. If he doesn’t, I don’t see how I could ever trust him again.

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  12. Ken on another phone

    @havill: Rather appropriately, today’s headline is “Are Japanese police phoning up war dogs for revenge?”

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  13. Now Eido is a historical denialist. Says the man who stealth edits his own blog and disrupts wikipedia to remove things he wish he’d never said and done being known about.

    Apparently Arudou is “all for people going in and getting exclusionary signs down” One could believe that if he had the balls to say “well done Eido”, but he doesn’t. He instead qualifies that with a mealy-mouthed excuse that unless you go in all guns blazing shouting RACIST it doesn’t count as having the signs taken down.

    It doesn’t matter that he himself had never insisted before on shops preserving a historical record of their signs or admitting they were racist before the sign is truly “down”. He’ll just invent a new rule if someone gets better at the activism thing than him. With much less effort and self-publicity.

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  14. Ken on another phone

    @VK: Hmm, I think just about every statement there is incorrect according to the “historical record”. I’ll check further once I get home.

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  15. As a comment on the meaning of “assuming good faith”. The reason why wikipedia insists on it is not because everyone is acting in good faith, (although it relies on the fact that people usually are). It does not require you to believe that other people are acting in good faith. It requires you to act/write as if you are. Act like the person you are dealing with is a shit, they will behave like a shit. Act like someone is a nice person and they will become nicer. If you build trust, people want to co-operate, they will be prepared to change their minds, be prepared to listen to the concerns of others.

    That’s why Wikipedia insists on assuming good faith. It’s the only way the thing can work. Imagine what it would be like if over a couple of million pages you had to have a third party arbitrating every single dispute.

    A blanket rejection of this approach to getting people to change their behaviour (and it is clearly a total blanket rejection) indicates a serious gap in a person’s interpersonal skills. Without wishing to generalise about cultures, it’s going to be a particular handicap in a place that values consensus building. Which might explain some of the profiles of the people who checked Eido’s LinkedIn page: a fair number who failed to “get on” here, but still rage uncomprehendingly about why. None of this “it wasn’t for me” nonsense for them. They’re still angry.

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  16. I’ve been saying for a long time that English teachers have never done anything good.

    Nice to see you’ve finally come around VK.

    Now let’s see about getting you into that Forklift training course and out into the real world.

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  17. Suggested reworking for text of a SJW “gaijin welcome” sign.

    “This shop, like all other shops in Japan, welcomes foreign guests. This sign was posted on Nov. 5, 2014. Before that date, this shop did not have this sign, and was thus guilty of racism and microaggression. We are very, very sorry. Especially to our white English speaking customers. We also apologize for assuming you can read English, when you could just as easily be Japanese nationals who can sort of speak and read Japanese. For this racism we are also very, very sorry, and look forward to buying a second new sign to apologize for this second act of racism. once the developers figure out which language they want to be addressed in.”

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  18. “Anonymous” wrote:

    [They] should put that sentence ON THE PAGE, just like a newspaper correction, for the permanent record.

    Careful there, “Anonymous”. You’re getting into uncomfortable territory as far as writers for the Japan Times are concerned. Here’s a hint: try clicking on “Article History“. :cool:

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  19. KT88 (hotelier derrière extraordinare!)

    @havill: Not even really that fun anymore is it? Picking on the mentally ill?

    Anonychan’s:

    “Please don’t fool yourself into thinking these hotels were ALLOWING foreigners who speak Japanese.
    These particular signs DENIED entry to ALL foreigners. Even those who speak Japanese. All banned.”

    So aside from seeing that 30 hotels on rakuten had these signs (likely a cut and paste job in the first place by the person(s) responsible for the pages)…

    I presume that Anonychan actually:

    (a) attempted a booking at each hotel
    (b) was refused (cos, like, gaijin or cos, like yellow japs are racists who can’t/won’t/don’t speak English)
    (c) took up the issue with management (but actually couldn’t cos like, no English)
    (d) was still refused (crossed index fingers + “gai-jin. daaahhhmeeeh. Ok? berrygu etc)
    (e) took effective and expedient action him/her/itself to ensure that the injustice was righted… (or not cos like, storm, tea cup, culture shock, mental health issues, no friends, writes and gets through unmoderated on debitard.org)…

    right?

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  20. @KT88 (hotelier derrière extraordinare!):

    Indeed.

    “Please don’t fool yourself into thinking these hotels were ALLOWING foreigners who speak Japanese.

    If I recall, my white face had no problem getting into a certain tempura shop* that had a “Japanese Only” sign on it, being polite and non-confrontational and ordering in Japanese. And no, I didn’t flash any passport.

    * among other places; not the first “Japanese Only” place I’ve been to.
    ** to recall the historical record, there have been other people who claimed to have visited Japanese Only Onsen While Being White Speaking Japanese.

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  21. KT88 (stormin' the front, yo!)

    @havill:

    ** to recall the historical record, there have been other people who claimed to have visited Japanese Only Onsen While Being White Speaking Japanese.

    Pfft, race traitor apologists the lot of em.

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  22. Complaints these days about “Japanese Only” signs are missing a very large sea change.

    You can doubt whether Japan will reach its ambitious annual inbound tourism target but it’s undeniable that retail and hospitality businesses are retooling en masse to try and attract foreign customers. Things move a bit more slowly in the sticks but I’m in Tokyo again for a few days and you can’t fail to notice it

    Inevitably, a lot of mistakes are being made and there are certainly some establishments which have panicked. Fearful of a rampaging horde of offended foreigners, they’ve opted to put the shutters up rather than risk a blunder in dealing with them.

    The thing is, if your mission really is to get rid of any exclusionary notices, you couldn’t have picked a better time. Virtually all shops, restaurants, hotels, theatres, theme parks etc belong to some trade association or local business union.

    These same groups are the ones who are trying to work out how to get a piece of this tourist action. That doesn’t just mean tourist spending, it also means government handouts and subsidies for new signs, pamphlets, websites and the like.

    There’s no need to be a lone warrior working on a case-by-case basis, or complaining that no-one understands your pain. Talk to the business groups and they’ll do the job for you. They don’t want embarrassing headlines because one of their members was dim enough to say foreign business wasn’t welcome. Also, they have other members who do want that business.

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  23. @Justin Thyme: Sharing the credit, you say? What a simply outrageous suggestion! *monocle pops out* No, my boy, that simply won’t do. One has one’s reputation and blog to think about.

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  24. Bingo. It’s come down to this, English/Cultural Imperialism:

    “‘Japanese language staff only’ is a VERY clear dogwhistle” = “Sorry, you aren’t welcome here.”= RACISM

    “Sorry, we don’t speak English,” = no omotenashi = RACISM

    That’s what Debito.org commenters are about these days: complaining about how really, the whole world should accommodate those who speak English. And if they don’t try or can’t, they’re probably racist.

    When they return home and are manning the register at their local chain store, I’d love for a man to come up and attempt to get service in Mandarin. When they say, “I’m sorry, we don’t speak Chinese. Could you speak English?” I want that Chinese man to start screaming (in Mandarin) about how racist that former ALT at the customer service counter was.

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  25. I just listened to the oyajis conversation. I know Hikosaemon likes to be inoffensive by studiously fence sitting on every single issue he ever encounters, but trying to see the good side of someone who, despite direct and unequivocal protest from wen and men in multiple countries, unashamedly promotes the sexual assault of women, while wanting punishment for, in his own description, old couples acting on ignorance and who change their policy at the first request to do so – it makes no sense. I think he needs to take violence against women rather more seriously.

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  26. After yesterday’s elections I assume the Japan Times will do a load of pompous, ill informed articles about Americas “swing to the right”…

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  27. KT88 (stealing land from brown and black to make a buck!)

    @havill: That’s what Debito.org commenters are about these days: complaining about how really, the whole world should accommodate those who speak English. And if they don’t try or can’t, they’re probably racist.

    Man, you still don’t get it. English is THE WORLD language. Everyone in every country should be able to speak it. I mean, why would you willingly decide not to be civilised?

    When they return home and are manning the register at their local chain store, I’d love for a man to come up and attempt to get service in Mandarin. When they say, “I’m sorry, we don’t speak Chinese. Could you speak English?” I want that Chinese man to start screaming (in Mandarin) about how racist that former ALT at the customer service counter was.

    Man, you’ve lost your grip on reality. Why would anyone speak Mandarin? I mean who speaks that anyway? The Chinese? pfft. :twisted:

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  28. @VK:

    FYI, y’all, VK is talking about this:

    http://youtu.be/NKE0XNdMkGo?t=15m

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  29. I have to say that in America these issues are virtually unknown. I wore a baseball cap to dinner and was commended for looking American. Hey, I’m not coming out into the lobby wearing a kimono bitch. Wearing a Japanese factory uniform among 6:00am truckers in jeans and cheap t-shirts is just asking to be microagressed at the breakfast buffet. Fuck you racist Pennslyvanians. Where’s the fairness? A lot of beards. A lot of trucker caps. Some tattoos.

    Empty malls and full stomachs, I’m a young George Bush full of spunk.

    Jake Adelstein doesn’t like pick-up artists? I thought he was a pick-up artist. Protect the laaaaaaaaaadies!

    White people in Japan are fish out of a tank in a big pond. Why you fight Havill? Why you fight? You hit Debito once, is over no?

    Why you dance? Google dance. Google dance. Everyone look at your hands.

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  30. When reading this month’s Just Be Cause, remember that the author aggressively boasts about having a degree in political science from an Ivy league university.

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  31. @VK: Looks like the dear doctor didn’t have much to write about this month. Talk about stretching content. Top down/bottom up… America is a post-race society (if you’re white and live in whitesville). And the Japanese are meant to be actively reforming themselves to be progressive and shit cos like, this fat white guy who once taught English said so… talk about writing yourself into irrelevance.

    Debito is like Scheherazade in reverse.

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