What on earth is he on about?

This month’s Just Be Cause is all rather complex and confusing, starting with the cartoon that seems to picture Uncle Sam giving Hans a hand job under the tablecloth. One thing I noted in particular was that this month he is not using “we Japanese” – I suspect it his rhetorical device when giving advice to Japanese; this time it features none.

For example, Japan’s pundits have already begun arguing that Japan’s disappointing performance in the World Cup in Brazil was partly down to the fallacy that Japanese bodies are smaller and weaker than those of foreigners.

Which pundits? Did the National Association of Pundits have a get-together and vote on this as this year’s excuse? Or was he just not following the football but wildly guessing that that would be a talking point? Although I didn’t follow the punditry in any depth, the only time I remember height being mentioned was regarding the 190+ cm Greek attacker. Most of the reasons I heard have been regarding a lack of finishers and a lack of pride in the uniform.

The West has largely moved on from this dangerous bunkum, thanks to the “master race” excesses of World War II and Nazi Germany’s Final Solution.

That sounds distinctly strange (and probably all wrong timeline-wise) to me!

[Regarding inferiority complexes] So instead you get isolation, loneliness, anxiety and scant sense of belonging. (I’m sure you long-termers who feel unrecognized for all your efforts to “fit in to Japan” can relate to this.)

Did he just say that Jim Di Griz and other (assuming there are any other) Japan-resident posters on Debito.org have inferiority complexes, and by implication most of the Japologists are probably free from any sense of inferiority? For once I can agree with him!

This “tradition” of ranking oneself in comparison with others, particularly in terms of degrees of civilization, has become ingrained as cultural habit and reflex.

Is this supposed to be a unique-to-Japan trait? Doesn’t much of the West see democracies as superior to the governments in many other parts of the world?

Rather, the default reflex is to see them in terms of comparative national development and civilization.

Really?

For if acceptance, recognition and superlative praise of Japan as a safe, peaceful, developed country are not forthcoming from the outsider, insult and anger almost inevitably ensue. 

I think Mr Arudou has been taken in by Jim Di Griz’ trolling.

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191 Comments.

  1. KT88 (Over the hills they came from the valley Making innuendos about my lack of talent, oh well...)

    @Simon: Gimmick? Random text?

    Man, was going to write something about lateral thinking as an exercise in overcoming glut of over-sincerity, textual selfies and battled weary fauxpologistas up in this joint but then I remembered a quote from some liner notes on a Charlie Parker record I saw a few weeks ago:

    “Is it true that only negroes can play jazz?”

    “Well, while they do it the best, there are some white musicians out there that can really swing.”

    And just when you thought I was talking about jazz, hah! You got a mouth full of jagga toof!

    Good sir, if you have to ask…

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  2. @KT88 (Over the hills they came from the valley Making innuendos about my lack of talent, oh well…): Thank you. I think he gets it. I call that piece Vandalism. It was love it was hate. I don’t expect any applause. It’s pure guerrilla. For my next piece I’m going to lay face down in a gutter as a homeless man with five helium filled multicolored balloons tied to my belt loop. See you soon.

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  3. [Snip a huge probable copyright violation/weak satire – read the original here]

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  4. @Hello VK: TL;DR + not funny. Shit’s really going to shit around here these days…

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  5. Wow. Is that meant to be some kind of weird yet comically impotent threat?

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  6. @Hello VK: Hello CJ! Obsessed much?

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  7. @Hello VK: Go away.

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  8. I had a check on twitter to see if this was a breakdown moment. It isn’t. Instead, in addition to the usual attempted grooming of a female journalist with a pretty profile picture, I found this moment of pure Alan Patridge:

    I just “liked” a cover photo on Facebook then had to “unlike” it because it’s against the rules to show such expressions of love anymore
    3:40pm – 2 Aug 14

    it’s easiest to hurt the ones you love most because they drop their guard and let you come into their undefended heart. #Life #Ukraine
    3:56pm – 2 Aug 14

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  9. Hi CJ!

    My name is Morley and I’d like to start a band with you. Serious only.

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  10. Also check out these micro aggressive nationalist japanese scumbags laughing at foreigners:

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pEcDfLXz9Bo

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  11. @iLikedolphins:

    Fuckers. I really hate it how, after I spend all my time* defending to the hilt everything Japan ever does, racists like these turn up and prove Debito right.

    (*when I’m not impersonating twenty five different people online to harass the finest journalist known to history)

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  12. oh chopsticks you endless sources of binary friction.

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  13. iLikedolphins August 3, 2014 at 3:51 pm

    Also check out these micro aggressive nationalist japanese scumbags laughing at foreigners:

    You get more pathetic with each post…. way to go trooper

    It’s a pity they didn’t ask which factory wanker/ DJ they respected the most?

    I’m sure ‘I fuck dolphins’ would’ve been up there with the Gods.

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  14. Dolphins has really been pwned there by Varus. He changed “like” to “fuck”. There’s no coming back from that.

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  15. There is a deeper truth here.

    Men sometimes masturbate in the factory toilets.

    There’s something about heavy glistening metal that can ignite a glandular reaction not unlike cold tea or a morning wood.

    Men, when they get together, they understand this. There’s a coded group default that standalone culture warriors can never sake their thirst with.

    We all stand tall. It just takes 5 minutes to go down.

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  16. When you think of all the anti Japan hate posts and lies from Debito and co, Japan Times commenters, various Korean-American trolls which crop up daily…how many people actually read them?

    Not anyone whose mind can be changed for sure. Maybe 20 or so views from likeminded bigots and another 20 or so from people who aren’t really that interested……what a waste of a life for JDG and co to constantly log on and post their crap to an empty room day after day after day….

    Meanwhile ILD’s link which shows a load of well adjusted young Japanese kids giving a good account of themselves…..800,977 views and counting.

    Being a J-hater must be so unrewarding and soul destroying I sometimes feel sorry for them.

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  17. Dedicated Whale Researcher

    More monster gaijin Deep Thoughts:

    “It also took my some time understand the fact that Japanese TV is so repetitive, garish, and primitive for the sole reason that it is catered perfectly to its audience.”

    Wow. Say it again, but this time while wearing a pith helmet and using a Victorian Era British accent.

    I’ll take watching some dumb SMAP variety show over and over again (which I really *can’t* take, I fucking hate them, and yet…) over 95% of the shit they showed on primetime back home.

    Still, that’s a very clever way of calling Japanese primitive people without appearing to be racist, when you’re racist.

    “In a society where having an adult conversation is avoided in order not to reveal one’s true thoughts and get ostracised, all that is left to do is to sample bland food and crack lame jokes.”

    …is he talking about England? Bland food, WTF? Only with a severed tongue can that statement even ring true? Back in my 20s I was dumbfounded by all the obsession in Japan over food and food on TV shows. Until I hit 23, became slightly less interested in random hookups, became slightly more interested in food, and actually started making enough money to try more food than the local ramen joint… After which I was like, “Okay. Not that I’ll watch all that shit on TV now, But *I Understand*.”

    TV is bullshit in every country, period, full stop. While I love new-wave US serial dramas (Spartacus! Arrow!) and some British comedies and dramas, they are a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of TV dominated by shitty amateur singing shows, shitty fake-drama reality TV, shitty laugh-track unfunny comedies, shitty repetitive “ripped from headlines!” TV and lawyer dramas, and shitty news that only talks about shit that happened in a 100 km radius.

    I would hate for someone to look at that crap and make judgments on an entire civilization because of what happens on primetime. Because if Japan is primitive, garish and unfunny. and thus produces primitive, garish unfunnny TV, what the f*** is the rest of the West?

    (besides, it only takes flipping to channel 1 or 2 at night to see stuff you’d never see sponsored on US/Canadian/Brit TV on primetime; like classical music concerts, experimental dance troupes, a panel discussion on the works of Sun Tzu, carefully produced history TV educational shows (and semi-historical period dramas).

    Personally, I’m more a fan of late night dramas (the weird stuff; Kampai Senshi After V, Garo, Yuusha Yoshihiko, Shinya Shokudo, Yukemuri Sniper, etc), but you need to be able to understand Japanese to pass value judgments on the artistic merits of those shows.

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  18. Dedicated Whale Researcher

    Fuck, I should just start a blog somewhere to vent all this crap. I need a catchier handle, though. Chrysanthemum128?

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  19. It’s an interesting question though.

    Why does Varus exist?

    His barbs are rudimentary. He must know he would easily deflatigate at a stroke of the double edged sword of hobbyist academia and true working class hero grit.

    Thus the hit and run? Fine, but to what purpose?

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  20. @COYP:

    I think it’s more people than that. The attitude that’s shown in intense form on debito.org is there amongst a lot of foreigners in teaching. I think it’s because quite a few of them have bought into the missionary ideal. The natives need to be generally primitive in some way for them to validate what they do.

    In a good mood they forgive the locals for it and say they are happy here. In a bad or paranoid mood it all gets a bit unpleasant.

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  21. Ken on the phone

    @Dedicated Whale Researcher: I seem to remember Dr Arudou talking about watching Survivor a good while back, which I rate as worse than watching crap Japanese primetime when in Japan.

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  22. Funny enough, there is the exact same idea in Europe about the US (stupid TV brainwashing people, no adult conversations etc.).

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  23. foreigners in teaching.

    I guess you can meet a lot of them in the Hub.

    We all know that English Teachers(tm) are racists by nature anyway and that half of the posters ‘over there’ are trolls. The bigger question is what are we doing here? And when are we all gonna meet for a beer? i know the perfect place where in the middle of all the spokes. We can just huddle and be grateful for the small mercies we have. Nice families and jobs, stuff like that.

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  24. KT88 (what? WHAT? I said the cicada's are too loud)

    @Dedicated Whale Researcher:

    Gone’d over and took a look. Shit, I can’t even read that trash for laughs any more. It reads like a delayed development intellect/serious mental health issues circle jerk with the money shot payload dribbling out on someone’s ex-“J”-wife…

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  25. KT88 (it's because they don't know any better)

    @iLikedolphins: I’d be there but between me and there are a whole lot of Japanese who might not sit next me on the train, accuse me of being good with chopsticks, praise my Japanese, take my children and do a runner, commit suicide and then behead me.

    It’s “what” they do. If I can hire a translator to help me read the TV guide and navigate this throng of primitive “humanity”… but only REAL foreigners (whites) may apply. Must have strong American accent, particularly when speaking Japanese and speak in blunt meirei-isms AND most importantly, know that THEY are up to.

    I need explicit pledges of allegiance – no bullshit.

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  26. The Golden Age of Debito Hunting is over. The Madness of CJ is a pale shadow of what once was. Loco is a dullard whose boorish narcissism offers no real schadenfreude. Japologism.org is down to a skeleton crew and Mr Ken is busy lifting Panasonic into the black.

    It’s been a fun ride with you guys and me, Morley Robertson. Metrosexual.

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  27. http://www.japantimes.co.jp/community/2014/08/06/voices/romance-expat-life-fades-dream-lives/

    Hey if anyone remembers that vaguely retarded guy in the oversize Super Mario hat who cries at the thought of meat going off, he’s written a doozy in the JapTime that has the makings of all the crazies coming out. Orchid64 is writing long winded rants about being kept in an orgone gaijin box and the possibilities for a Japan War are all there! (No Japanese people actually required.)

    Is the guy who scopes the shitty bottom dwellers of Japan bashing blogs still that guy who got arrested at the beach for demanding to be let into a natives only bar? I get the feeling this is all some long-winded form of revenge. On the natives. Gosh darn them!

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  28. Who the fuck is Morely Robinson

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  29. @iLikedolphins:

    Is the guy who scopes the shitty bottom dwellers of Japan bashing blogs still that guy who got arrested at the beach for demanding to be let into a natives only bar?

    Close. He was probably denied for being a stumbling sluring drunk who should’ve gone home rather than push his luck way way past midnight at yet one more dive bar, and he was arrested for messing with the proprietor’s sign then assaulting him after fleeing from confrontation regarding said sign.

    As for your theory about JT editorial decisions of Community Editors being based on or motivated by this and perhaps similar life defining moments, I think you may be onto something. :idea:

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  30. @iLikedolphins: And JT is down again – it’s a toss-up for unreliability between Debito.org and JT, but at least Debito.org has the excuse of being on $5 hosting.

    Anyway, I thought that was an awful article by a English teacher freelance writer – sentence construction is on a par with mine, for instance, and the only nice words (to the writer, but certainly not to the Japanese) being from Orchid64, who might very well be another regular at whatever gaijin pub writers’ collective they hang out at. :facepalm:

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  31. Dedicated Whale Researcher

    Nope, Orchard64 apparently miraculously found the strength to return a few months ago after putting her life on hold for twenty years, to continue life onward back home.

    For a subset of “continue life onward” which exclusionarily contains “maintaining posting on all the gaijin blogs and JT articles just like before with no noticeable change in behavior at all”, that is.

    But I gotta admit, she wasn’t being her usual self, she was arguing for empathy, which is refreshing. Empathy towards a 20-year-old wholly blaming Tokyo for his inability to move on with his life, but still.

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  32. oh.my.goodness.
    Fakey Jakey has waded in and written a poem about being the white gaijin in the room that the sun revolves around. blinding whiteness.

    Can all your readers please go and have a look at it so I know I’m not going mad?

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  33. KT88 (soiled again... still)

    @iLikeDolphins: What a fucking moron. Old man tributes an old man song about old man’s Japan… Well, at least I learned my own bile tastes better when I just let it flow…

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  34. @Dedicated Whale Researcher:

    Interpretation: her life and career prospects were just as mediocre in ‘merica, the “land of opportunity “, as it was in Japan. Except now she can’t blame the Japanese for the oppression and discrimination against her Whiteness, Foreignness, and speaking the Language of the Enlightened natively.

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  35. @iLikeDolphins: You mean this? It just seems naff to me, nothing worth getting worked up about. :???:

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  36. One gets the feeling that the intrepid undercover hard-nosed investigative reporter with a penchant for the ladies really is a bit naff.

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  37. beneaththewheel

    That piece read like a 25 year old not sure whether or not to stay another year teaching English in Japan or not, especially after his brother told him that he’s not really going anywhere.

    Sounds like something that lots of young twenty-somethings can relate to.

    When I was 25 (and teaching English), I could.

    Perhaps it has to do with expectations for the JT Community section?

    The only part that made me really roll my eyes was not mentioning he is an English teacher.

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  38. Found on a dilapidated web forum. For those who want the skinny on the ladies from a grizzled expat poon dog:

    I was married to a Japanese girl (now lady) for 10 years in total.
    Perhaps this is a generalization but I don’t trust them. In my opinion they will sleep with co-workers or bosses to keep their job (thus the numerous love hotels). They are too submissive also.
    I spent most of my time in Nagano (omachi city) a total of 9 years in fact. During which my now ex-wife had 6 affairs. All admitted by herself and all respect to her for admitting. These were all with her boss and her co-worker. And all at love hotels. When you understand what can happen at a bounenkai or out of desperation for keeping your job it is very hard to trust a Japanese girl.
    They have a very deceptive visard. They will seem to you that they are innocent and very kind. After years of learning JAPANESE culture you will understand that this may not be the case.
    I Used to work for a large bus service in Japan ( I was in IT not driving ) and I knew of the directors relationships with female staff members. I also had a friend whom I went snow shoe walking with, she was married, yet she hinted to me that she wanted me to make an approach to her (in the form of changing all her clothes with an open door whilst I was sat in the living room just next to her room) I did explain that I don’t think that it was appropriate but she continued to hint at what lifestyle she has. Very calculating.
    Be careful of the signals. Girls will not say to you “I want to have Se…” with you, but they will dance around the subject.
    Over all, my marriage was nice as I had tought her western ways and she eventually followed them. However, the 7th affair was too much (in the UK). So , don’t dismiss their Japanese mannerisms as extinct. They will still have affairs with co-workers to keep their jobs.
    If you want to date a japanese girl follow these rules:
    1. Don’t date a rich girl (find someone who is either unemployed or in a low pay job)
    2. Don’t date someone who has been with a western man previously.
    3. Ensure their age – Some 15 – 16 year olds attract men and lie about their age.
    4. If they seem too keen or obsessive then just walk away.
    5. Ask them if they are married or have been married. Make sure they are not on the rebound.
    6. Don’t tell them your profession, if they love you then they will not be bothered.
    7. Don’t give out your surname until you are comfortable
    8. Keep all private documents (such as passports) away from them. Lock your PC down and password it. (disable your CD/DVD drive to prevent password overide software)
    9. Ask if she lives with her mother or parents if over 30.
    Nice girls are poor, living alone, uneducated, Have only had 1 or 2 boyfriends all from japan, perhaps a 7 worker? …
    The “users” are rich, working in a high level profession, and have had multiple foreign boy friends.
    However . marriage can be bliss. I would much rather date a Japanese girl who cheats on me than a fat northern UK girl who only stays faithful because nobody wants to date nelly the elephant. I had a date with a UK girl when I came back here.. she needed a large chair (wider than usual) which is embarrasing.
    I will remain selebate for now. I am yet to find the right girl but I will not date a UK girl again. Japanese girls, overall, are very nice (apart from the cheating “uwaki” in japanese) The right girl is slim and modest with a strong personality. The girl I really loved after my divorce was a girl form the kansai region. She hit me and often stuck her finger up at me. She didn’t have a job and lived a very simple life. She had a dog too , very cute. I found her a job in a hospital working as a receptionist. We tried to get pregnant but alas, we didn’t. I came back to the UK and started worked for a government organization.

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  39. God, I’d almost forgotten writing that. :oops:

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  40. you’ll need to confirm that with a double window screenshot showing you logging in to debito.org and a picture of your mum playing the Dutch trombone.

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